Always what you don't want

How about this guy really thinks Imma marry him. Ummm...I doubt it. He's about to be 23, has yet to GRADUATE from high school and works at Loews (at least this week, last week he worked at Sears). He lives with his mom, he rides the bus (barely knows how to do that). All around this guy really needs to get himself together. And than he says, "He's called to minster." Don't nobody want an uneducated, unachiever as a pastor...I think he feels that he's gonna get rich off a church and that just ain't right. I've know this guy since I was a little girl, I thought he was funny and cute (like a teddy bear)...but I also thought he was gonna do big things with his life...and not to say that he still won't...but sorry I don't have time to wait for you to GRADUATE from high school at the age of 23. He had no reasons behind dropping out of school five years ago, except the fact that he was tired of waking up and he didn't like his school (what the **ck)...now that is just lazy and stupid! So, you want to marry me?? I saw this guy yesterday when I want home to see my mother...He told me that I was looking beautiful as usual...and I of course said thank you. But he wouldn't stop hugging me and touching me! I really wanted him to leave me alone, but I didn't want to be mean to this guy because his is really sweet and he never did anything to me. He has always treated me like a princess and shown me the greatest amount of respect...but he has become a deadbeat as we have gotten older and I just can't put up with that. I believe their is a woman out their for him who will support the fact that he doesn't value education and that he wants to be a minister. I am the child of two ministers, I don't want to be the wife of a minister.... I value education and have worked hard to obtain mine and I'm not done yet! I have this guy falling all over me, but nothing about him is remotely attractive to me. His personality is boring and he doesn't like to socialize or have fun (because Christians don't 'act' like that), he looks as if he is about to drop a set of twins (use your imagination to get that visual), and like I have already said...he's not driven! Get an education, it isn't too late for him...but it's too late for us... (wow...in the middle of writting this, my phone rang...It's Him!) I could have all the love and attention I could have ever wanted from this guy, but I know he's not for me... but the one I want won't give me anything... (ain't that a *itch!)

Caught up

I'm speechless, this is undescribable...I think I like, I may even grow to love it. Please don't stop what you do and how you do it. I'm flying, floating, I feel so free. I don't want to let go, but I need to grow...staying here my be a bad idea, but leaving here is not what I want to do. I have never felt this way, I have never been lead astray. I'm off my game, I'm so untamed and I'm loving it. Too confused, making sure I'm not abused but this feeling is like none other. I can't control myself. I don't want to control this. My mind is telling me no...but my soul won't let go. I'm going into another place in lfe and I hope you go with me. Things are changing and I want you to change with me. As I grow, can we grow, as I move, can we move. I want to hold your hand, be with me and stand. Everything, anything you have ever desired. Your hopes and dreams to which you aspire...I'll be with you through it all. I was raised to be loyal to the day I die...I'm not like any other because for you I will live, give and so much more. You bring out the greatness in me. Something between us is so strong...when we say we are going away, we cannot stay. You looked into my eyes, I opened the doors of my heart. Your smile brings peace, your arms give me release. There are tears of joy, sadness, hurt, longing, needing...I'm convinced about you. I see greatness in you. I believe in you. Some may ask how/why I feel this way...all I can say is that you've got me and I will never, ever go away.

Have you ever felt caught up??!!??

Raymond "Buster" Stewart Jr.

Oh wow...I had to write this one after someone made a comment about my post "Seconds"... Maybe it seems like I didn't have a strong foundation...but I did and I still do. That post has absolutely no reflection on the life that I have with my family. I have the greatest parents and siblings in the world. They support me through my stupidity and love me despite my flaws.

For twenty-one years I have been treated like a princess. He picked my name...a name that means "princess - of life". He's strong, he sacrifices, loves, hugs, cries, devotes, suffers...for me! I love him, I adore him...I hope to be like him one day. A quiet, sensitive, loyal man who has worked his way from cleaning toilets to running companies. Loves his family, would die for his family...the rock of my family. I'm his baby girl...he's my hero. He's my eyes when I can't see, my wings so I can fly, my voice when I can't speak. Love can not even accurately describe the feelings I have for this man. He can make me laugh through the tears. I compare every person I encounter to him. He has set such a high standard for life. Because of all he is I'm thankful!!!

My Daddy...I adore him, I love him

Boys v. Men

I read this on someone's facebook page...and I had to post it... This poem is the truth!!! I didn't know the title so I made up one...Stop dealing with boys!!!!

Boys v. Men...There is a major difference!!!

A boy imitates the movies, always trying to be a mac when a man possesses the inner strength to love a woman back. A boy looks at your body, when a man looks at your soul, he knows you have more to offer. A boy will ask to spend the night, but a man wants to share your life. A boy hunts for
'a piece' when a man yearns for a wife. A boy will leave you insecure while you wonder where he is, with a man you're always reassured because a man takes care of his. Boys give you moments while a man gives you memories and in you a man can trust. A boy after reading this poem is intimitaded, for a man feels that in this poem his life is imitated.

~The Truth...I say the truth~

Enough???

-Bad enough to be truly respected by friends and enemies
-Brave enough to stand up for any and everything your heart truly believes in…your faith, your family, me
-Funny enough to keep me smiling through our ups, but more importantly our downs

-Intelligent enough to choose education and your dreams over quick riches
-Loyal enough to be true to me as long as you draw breath

-Patient enough to wait for me because I’m worth waiting for
-Respectful enough to take the vow of celibacy with me and stand by that decision in the face of all scrutiny

-Strong enough to give up your personal desires for others
-Loving enough to rather give your life than be forced to live it without.......

I want to give everything, do anything, and go anywhere to make you happy, to see you succeed…All I’m asking is that you take this chance with me…

~Looking Forward to the Future~

Seconds

I'm really really confused, scared and have a sense of unknowing...and I don't like it! Have you ever felt invisible, like you were overlooked or forgotten about??? Here's a scenario for you... You are out with your people and some comes running across the street tripping over themselves and when they get to the other side they scream "Hi and smile" to your friend, than they look at you and say, "Ooooh, wzup?"...totally making you feel like an afterthought. Or what about this...People are constantly coming to you, they are going through something and you are more than willing to have their back, but after time you are getting tired because you keep saying the same things (maybe you should just write your suggestions down, so they could read them at a later time) ... you don't want to be selfish, but you want a moment when it's all about you! I'm always saying how I don't think people really like me and day after day this theory is being proven true. Is it so bad to want someone to care as much about you as you care about them. How about knowing that you are on someone's mind, just because. That your presence brightens their day. There have been people in my life who have made me feel this way...I'm convince that their are people in my life now that could make me feel this way. I'm so use to being treated like leftovers, seconds...but never first pick. It hurts more than words can say. I would give my life for the people who are important to me. I can't even get someone to sacrifice pleasures to be with me...wow!!!...that's a crazy. (Let me finish this)...

All I want is peace and I want to feel like my life is making a difference. So..."A Man of Men" says that I must have not have had a good foundation in the home (or something like that)...wow this is a complete stranger, trying to read me and determine what my life has been life. I talk about a lot of emotions, pain, hurt, struggles...good times, great times and my future...I rarely talk about my past because I think it is self explanatory (without a solid foundation there is no way I would have been able to make it through all of the trials that have occurred over the past few years). I talk about my current struggles, because that's what moves me and inspires me to write at this point in my life. I'm shocked about how males treat me...because I am so use to men treating me like a princess...My father, my older brother, my uncles, my cousins, my friends...than when I started dating guys and they started treating me in this abnormal way. I know that I'm worth more than this because I've seen true love that doesn't compromise...but I guess I've been opening myself up to people who have never experienced what I've experienced...so maybe to them it's normal. I just want to get away...take a break. For a moment there will be no concerns, no ups or downs...just totally absolute peace!