What happened to courting???

So, me and my girl Quita have been having some really deep conversations about our future and that man God has for us in that future. These conversations have inspired me to share the Godly insight we have been gaining together...God is so good in so many ways!

Ladies are often worried, concerned, bothered that they aren't enough, that they can't/won't find love but this isnt true. The man for you has been beautifully and wonderfully created my our Father God. If we allow God to be the discussion maker there will be no problems, no mistakes, no questions. Stop choosing the man you think you should be with...stop making plans about who he is, how you are going to meet him etc etc... my grandfather use to always say "We make plans and God laughs at them." meaning that God is the divine director, if we try to decide how things should go we most likely will get in the way of what God has already plan. We've got to remember that our life was 'mapped' out my God before we were even born.

So you've met the man of your dreams...well have you checked with God?...does he meet the criteria that is non-negotiable? Like, does he love the Lord? Numero uno! Date him, gather the data determine his attributes and make a honest GODLY decision if you should allow him to pursue you...yes, I said 'him pursue you' What's going on with ladies these day chasing after men? Forget that new millennium woman...that is a hott mess! If ladies stop trying to run everything in a relationship and get in their place they would start experiencing the 'dream' relationship women back in the day experienced. There is something wonderful about a woman being woman and that woman allowing her man to take his place and be a man.

So you've dated him now and all is going well. Do you two have a friendship? Are you walking side by side, hand in hand towards a common goal? If not something is wrong and this relationship shouldn't go forward. I believe what people in great marriages say, 'You must be friends first and remain friends throughout your lifetime together.' Friendship is key people! and I'm talking about a REAL friendship...open and honest communication about the good and bad, the hurt and disappointment, you've got to be vulnerable. Are you able to get down and dirty and do that 'ugly' cry in front of each other lol... I know it sounds crazy but are you really able to let it all hang out? Ask yourself this...and give a honest answer.

Now, what has happened to courting...my mama always told me a man should court me...if he's not willing to do that he is obviously not willing to be with me...this should be an obvious thing but we have lowered our standards so far that we will take just about any mess just to get to the altar. Do men even pick a lady up, come to the door (I don't even think women expect this, but I do!), bring flowers or whatever his lady likes, open doors, compliment his lady... so many seemingly simply things that don't happen very often these days and many women don't 'demand' this type of treatment, even go as far as to say they don't like or want this type of treatment (they are an independent woman), I'm independent woman too, but I want my man to do all the above and more for me or he wont be my man. When you are being courted it is with the intention towards the altar, you should be laying the foundation, a strong foundation for your future together (marriage). What happened to taking time to build a strong relationship...for each couple the amount of time it takes to build this relationship varies but no matter how short or long the time is...please take the time. Honest, quality time truly getting to know each other's good, bad, ugly and beautiful is what needs to happen. And please pay attention...a person may try to hide who they truly are at first, but they will eventually show their true self and believe them when they show you the crazy, don't ignore what they are 'telling' you. (I learned a hard lesson here).

When you are in this relationship, please never forget to pray...stay on your face before the Lord and he will surely guide your steps. And once again listen and believe what the Lord tells you...He's not going to lie, trick or deceive you.

Stop worrying is there something wrong with me, because there is nothing wrong with you, there is something right with him...when there is something right with him there will be something right between the two of you.

This love thing really does work...let Him (God) be the match - maker and you're on the right track. I have so much more to say on this topic...and I will be coming with more installments and personal stories in the near future.

~take care