I care...

Why do I have to care so much???!!! I must have been raised to be a caring person, because even if people don't want to have anything to do with me, don't want to talk to me...I still feel this burning pain for them. I am concerned about others well-being sometimes even before I am concern about myself. I am willing and available to support you no matter what. If I am the cause of your problems/pain/hurt please let me know...my intention is never to hurt anyone. If there is anything I can do to ease whatever is ailing you, please let me help. I'm the type of person who will go to whatever lenghts to help someone I care about. For family and friends I will sacrifice my own happiness to see you succeed! Right now I'm feeling so horrible because I don't know what to do or say to help others...I'm usually so good at this. I need you to allow me to be there for you. Don't shut me out...you don't have to ask me to be there for you, I'mma be there for you because that is the type of person I am. You can count on me through thick and thin...my devotion to you will never end. If something is important to you, if it concerns you, if you care about something...I care too...

He's Just Not That Into You

It’s a classic single-woman scenario: you really like this guy, but he’s giving mixed messages. You make excuses, decide he’s confused, afraid of commitment. Behrendt, a former executive story editor for Sex and the City—and a formerly single (now happily married) guy who knows all the excuses—provides a simple answer: he’s just not that into you. Stop kidding yourself, let go and look for someone else who will be. After all, as Behrendt sensibly puts it, "if a (sane) guy really likes you, there ain’t nothing that’s going to get in his way."

I have not read this book...but I spoke to my aunt today and she couldn't stop talking about this book. So I thought I would make a post about it...she said she is gonna send my a copy, so after I read it I'll post my thoughts about the book.

He says:
Oh sure, they say they're busy. They say that they didn't have even a moment in their insanely busy day to pick up the phone. It was just that crazy. All lies. With the advent of cell phones and speed dialing, it is almost impossible not to call you. Sometimes I call people from my pants pocket when I don't even mean to. If I were into you, you would be the bright spot in my horribly busy day. Which would be a day that I would never be too busy to call you.
She says:
There is something great about knowing that my only job is to be as happy as I can be about my life, and feel as good as I can about myself, and to lead as full and eventful a life as I can, so that it doesn't ever feel like I'm just waiting around for some guy to ask me out. And most importantly, it's good for us all to remember that we don't need to scheme and plot, or beg anyone to ask us out. We're fantastic.
For ages women have come together over coffee, cocktails, or late-night phone chats to analyze the puzzling behavior of men.
He's afraid to get hurt again.Maybe he doesn't want to ruin the friendship.Maybe he's intimidated by me.He just got out of a relationship.

Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo are here to say that -- despite good intentions -- you're wasting your time. Men are not complicated, although they'd like you to think they are. And there are no mixed messages.
The truth may be He's just not that into you.
Unfortunately guys are too terrified to ever directly tell a woman, "You're not the one." But their actions absolutely show how they feel.

Always on My Mind

I was listening to Brandy's first album last night....from way back when...I think that was middle school days. The song "Always on my mind" really hit me...I'm sort of feeling this way at the presence moment. I hope to continue feeling this way, but I'm not sure. I'm definitely trying to be cautious...but I'm really ready for the first time in a long time to put myself completely out there...

~Always on my mind ~

You're always on my mind

Thoughts of you all the time

You're always on my mind

Everyday I see you With loving eyes

I just wanna hold you

And make you mine

If you listen to me now sweet baby

I'll make a promise that you can hold me too

No matter how far

And no matter how wide

I promise baby that I'll stay by your side

Cause in my mind I see you

And I just can seem to shake you

Your sweetness to me is what I'm thinking of

It's the way you look at me

The sight of you knock me off of my feet

I want to kiss and tell

And get to know you well

~Let me introduce my heart to you~

Smile

"If I could reach up and capture a star for every time you've made me smile, I'd have the whole evening sky in the palm of my hand." So, I've talked about tears...now it's time to talk about joy! Have you ever known someone would can make you smile when you feel your worse? Or that person who can hug you and make you forget about all the problems you thought were going to overtake you? What about that person, who's mere presence makes you smile and you can't figure out why? Well, if you don't know anyone like this...tell me and I will introduce you to someone who will be all these things and more. I'm not sure what will happen, I try not to get to caught up because I've been hurt before. But I'm willing to take a risk...so if you're willing to take the risk with me I know we could go very far. Are you ready to grow into this with me??? Sometimes the best things in life are worth waiting for. So are you going wait for me??? Oh wow...I see joy everytime I look at you...

Tears

I'm not the type of person to wear my emotions on my sleeve. You most likely will never know if I'm hurt, upset or in pain...I'm not really sure why I'm like this...but this attitude was definitely developed during my early childhood. But this can be a really bad thing most of the time. When people ask me "What's wrong?" I always say "Nothing" because I feel telling people what's wrong with me will in some way burden them...and I don't want to be a burden. Also, I'm the strong one, everyone else's rock to lend on...I gotta keep that up or I will let others down and they might be dissappointed with me. These past couples of weeks have been very interesting for me emotionally. So many great times, laughter smiles and joy but mixed in with all of that I have been very sad. Saturday was my release...I cried Saturday...Not that booowhoo...ugly type crying. But tears fell and my eyes were a bit red. Alot of things contributed to the tears...maybe something or some people had a bigger contribution but all in all no one things or person was the cause. But I'm not upset that I cried...I'm somewhat relieved and happy that at least for one moment I could release emotions and I didn't allow my spirit to take the emotions in and allow myself to be drained. There are something that I want right now, some relationships I want to strengthen and develop, some opportunities I want to come my way...but I can't and won't let myself stress anymore. I'm falling back, I'm trying to release the stress and I may have to let a few more tears fall in the process. I'm thankful for the tears...

BluZee Got hurt :(

I had my first car accident the other day. I hit someone and they ran away...isn't it suppose to go the other way. Anyway thank God I was not alone in the car, because I would lost it. So, I was pulling out of a parking, I looked both ways, let the car pass, they stop and as I proceeded to pull into the street, they gunned the gas and turned in the parking lot that I was exiting. I hit the drivers side door pretty hard. I was shocked, scared and the passengers in my car were screaming all crazy! So I was like, ok I have the insurance info, yeah my dad and mom won't be happy but that's what insurance if for...my parents stay cool when things aren't going good...so I knew things would be ok. Next thing I knew, the driver of the car I hit, opened his door looked at the mess I had made and drove off! I was like "OH NO!" what to do, what to do??? Isn't flewing the scene of an accident a crime??? The people in the car were like get his license plate, I was like I don't know where he went. But baby girl has good eyes and she was like..."They are at the Sunoco!! They are at the Sunoco!!" Another car pulled up and asked if we were just in an accident?? They told us the driver had gone in a completely different direction that what two of the other passengers in my car said. And this whole time, baby girl is getting mad saying..."They are over there...In the Sunoco!!!" Aight, I listened to my baby and we went over to the Sunoco and I drove around to see if it was the car and sure enough the driver's side door was messed up! I wrote down the license plate number and before I knew it, Er jumped out the car, ran to the other side and starting arguing with two male strangers. They said, "Ma go ahead get in the car, we will fix the car ourselves." No granted, I hit them, it was my car the did the damage...even though they made that turn all crazy. Who wouldn't want someone else to pay for damages to their car??? I'll tell you who!!! Criminals...they either didn't have insurance, didn't have a license, stole the plate, stole the car, had drugs in the car...who really knows...but it was clear they aint want us to contact the police. No one was hurt...BluZee has some scratches but no body damage...and for the other person's car...it was messed up something serious. What an evening....my first accident. Hopefully it will be my last!!!